My mom, Flora Parisky and me at the 3rd Biennial NE Women’s Policy Conference, Boston. She is 81 in that photo and her trailblazing energy is with me all the time!
I'm on a mission to make some changes in society.
Because at the rate we are going...
our grandchildren's children, still won't see the end of sexual misconduct.
The 4Rs Intake: How to build Rapid Rapport with DV and SA Survivors without Rushing or Retraumatization
Why did I develop the 4Rs Intake?
- Because being 100% survivor-responsive, and meeting the needs of survivors, needs to be priority #1.
- Because I am an expert in building rapport rapidly, and I can demo how to deeply connect with survivors.
- Because without rapport, prosecution is weaker and survivors are at risk of being retraumatized.
- I’m a fast emerging SME on trauma and mitigating it.
- Because the 4Rs Intake doubles as an survivor-responsive intake and a trauma education tool. Become trained in how trauma informs everything else in a victim’s life.
- Like 40% of the US population (that reported their abuse), I am also a DV and SA survivor.
Why use the 4Rs Intake?
Because after doing due diligence, the 4Rs Intake is the most cutting-edge and the most survivor-responsive intake available.
The 4Rs Intake:
- Increases rapid rapport
- Decreases rushing and retraumatization
How so?
The 4Rs Intake is:
- innovative,
- holistic,
- trauma-informed,
- vicarious trauma-informed,
- client-led,
- victim-empowered,
- unbiased, and
- empathetic-with-boundaries
4Rs Intake – Training Bonus
In this training, participants receive tools to address trauma that support survivors, tools that are easily used, even when you aren’t a therapist but your victim (or you) are getting retraumatized.
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BENEFITS:
THE 4Rs INTAKE is the most SURVIVOR-Responsive intake available
The 4Rs Intake is the most:
- gentle,
- respectful,
- caring,
- sensitive,
- non-abrasive and yet
- highly informative intake (data collecting tool) to make a solid prosecution case,
- It is a live (vs static) tool, meaning that it can be constantly upgraded to meet the needs of survivors (and the interviewer) as needed,
- It is 100% authentic and customizable.
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MORE INFO
Click below to see how I can speak and/or train your organization, VWA program, DV/SA Unit, Law Enforcement department, Crisis Responder Organization, on how to create and customize the 4Rs Intake to meet the needs of DV and SA survivors.
We're the Ones We've Been Waiting For
--my personal story--
Way back in 1977, I took my first Anti-Racism training. I was also elected to be a CT State Delegate to the National Women’s Conference in Houston. I was 17 years old.
Back in 1977, advocates were few and VWAs did not officially exist. Instead there were community organizations who compiled various funding sources to support some victims through the court process. My mom’s firm worked for the governor to create new legislation to officially create a statewide system of support where police were required to match victims to advocates immediately upon their report to police of abuse. In CT, the first Family Violence Victim Advocate was hired in 1987.
THEN MY LIFE SHIFTED, BIG TIME.
In 1991, it was bad enough that a man who by all accounts sexually harassed another human being was barely investigated and then nominated and confirmed to our Supreme Court. Then in 2021, it happened again while my insides stirred and rumbled; an accused rapist, again with a juvenile investigation, was nominated and confirmed.
First witnessing Anita Hill and then Christine Blasey Ford demonstrate their unbelievable courage while being publicly grilled and retraumatized on national TV by a room full of US Senators, who were untrained to address trauma nor who conducted a proper investigation (there was no typical courtroom process); I knew I had to share my story too.
I’m a survivor. I spoke up 44 years after it happened. Publicly on Facebook. Enough of this shame and silence.
SHARING MY STORY CRYSTALIZED WHO I AM
I’m obsessed with fairness and the need for increased shared resources and community for survivors, increased reporting (if desired), training in affirmative consent, tools to lessen re-traumatization, increased convictions, increased rehabilitation (i.e., effective restorative justice), while decreasing recidivism of perpetrators.
As a DV and SA survivor and advocacy strategist, I’m focused on why there is this extremely long wait time for change. I wonder where the action plan is — Project 2028 ? — to harness all of the energy, across state lines, a force to be reckoned with so that everyone’s tireless contributions are creating some serious permanent traction to end sexual misconduct.
"Just Watch Me"
In 4th grade, I refused to say the pledge of allegiance. I felt disingenuous standing with my hand on my heart.
How could I claim “with liberty and justice for all” when I knew that our country was not fulfilling that promise for all people?
As far back as I can remember, my goal has been to “change the fabric of society, so that it’s fair.”
Also at age 10, a babysitter told me that I would grow up and forget my desire to change the fabric of society. Annoyed, I retorted with, “Just watch me.”
RAPPORT, RAPPORT, RAPPORT
Starting in my 20s, I realized I could have a bigger positive impact in the world by learning as much as I could about Non-Violent Communications, NLP, The Emotion Code, Collaborative Law and Mediation, Positive Intelligence, Heartmath, Polyvagal Theory, and a host of other Eastern and Western communication and healing modalities.
In 2001, I became a Certified Co-Active Professional Coach, which means I partner with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.
This does not mean mentoring, directing, advising, or managing unless asked.
It means I create rapport with people so they feel safe enough to tell me what’s going on (or what really matters, is upsetting, not working, or is stuck). I help people clarify some choices that didn’t exist before we talked.
We also break down internal lies (I deserved this, I can’t leave, I’m not educated enough, I don’t know how, I’m not feeling confident or strong enough, etc., etc.). Then I support my client, team, or organization to create a doable action plan where they can move towards achieving their own aspirations at their own pace, even when their new psychological ‘muscles’ are still weak.
Clients notice how well I listen and how easy it is to talk and connect with me. They know I can be trusted as an outside, non-judgemental, confidant. They say I’m passionate, smart, & strategic.
They tell me lovely things like “Becky is the best thing since tiramisu” and “Everyone needs a Becky.” Here are some kudos.
- SPECIAL SKILLS in STRATEGY –more to come–
My greatest skills are in building strategy collaboratively.
I’m an expert at analyzing organizations and looking at ‘systems,’ finding weaknesses and missing parts, and collaborating with others to generate innovative solutions (1 + 1 =3, not 2) to move the person, team, or organization forward.
In that regard, I have some very bold ideas about where the law is failing DV and SA survivors.
For example, I see that DV and SA statutes of limitations are a contradiction to trauma; and I’m looking for other policy people who are ready to challenge the status quo together. I want to partner with prosecutors, civil attorneys, VWAs, judges, legislators, and law enforcement across state lines, not in silos, to create some permanent traction.
- MORE INFORMATION:
Some testimonials to hear what others see in me.
I support lawyers* to be highly efficient, strategic and successful so that Sexual Misconduct ends in our lifetime.
*DA’s, Legislators, Title VII and IX Investigators, Advocates, and Employment Lawyers (representing the Plaintiff)
Does
your impact
match
your
vision
A Few Fun Facts: