My mom, Flora Parisky and me at the 3rd Biennial NE Women’s Policy Conference, Boston. She is 81 in that photo and her trailblazing energy is with me all the time!
We're the Ones We've Been Waiting For
--my personal story--
Way back in 1977, I took my first Anti-Racism training. I was also elected to be a CT State Delegate to the National Women’s Conference in Houston. I was 17 years old.
Back in 1977, advocates were few and VWAs did not officially exist. Instead there were community organizations who compiled various funding sources to support some victims through the court process. My mom’s firm worked for the governor to create new legislation to officially create a statewide system of support where police were required to match victims to advocates immediately upon their report to police of abuse. In CT, the first Family Violence Victim Advocate was hired in 1987.
THEN MY LIFE SHIFTED, BIG TIME.
In 1991, it was bad enough that a man who by all accounts sexually harassed another human being was barely investigated and then nominated and confirmed to our Supreme Court. Then in 2021, it happened again while my insides stirred and rumbled; an accused rapist, again with a juvenile investigation, was nominated and confirmed.
First witnessing Anita Hill and then Christine Blasey Ford demonstrate their unbelievable courage while being publicly grilled and retraumatized on national TV by a room full of US Senators, who were untrained to address trauma nor who conducted a proper investigation (there was no typical courtroom process); I knew I had to share my story too.
I’m a survivor. I spoke up 44 years after it happened. Publicly on Facebook. Enough of this shame and silence.
SHARING MY STORY CRYSTALIZED WHO I AM
I’m obsessed with fairness and the need for increased shared resources and community for survivors, increased reporting (if desired), training in affirmative consent, tools to lessen re-traumatization, increased convictions, increased rehabilitation (i.e., effective restorative justice), while decreasing recidivism of perpetrators.
I’m on a mission to make some changes in society. Because at the rate we are going, our grandchildren’s children, still won’t see the end of sexual misconduct.
I partner with those on a mission* to End DV and SA Violence in our lifetime.
*I’m here to partner with prosecutors, civil attorneys, VWAs, judges, legislators, law enforcement, and crisis responders to ask why things are the way they are and then to collaborate with you and other strategists in order to offer some bold plans and pathways to gain some traction and make this process more fair.
As a DV and SA survivor and advocacy strategist, I’m focused on why there is this extremely long wait time for change. I wonder where the action plan is — Project 2028 ? — to harness all of the energy, across state lines, a force to be reckoned with so that everyone’s tireless contributions are creating some serious permanent traction to end sexual misconduct.
"Just Watch Me"
In 4th grade, I refused to say the pledge of allegiance. I felt disingenuous standing with my hand on my heart.
How could I claim “with liberty and justice for all” when I knew that our country was not fulfilling that promise for all people?
As far back as I can remember, my goal has been to “change the fabric of society, so that it’s fair.”
Also at age 10, a babysitter told me that I would grow up and forget my desire to change the fabric of society. Annoyed, I retorted with, “Just watch me.”
A Few Fun Facts:
At the rate things are going, even in the year 2025, even with #MeToo, I fear that our grandchildren's children still won't see an end to sexual misconduct.
The Best definition of Fairness & What I Stand for:
Fairness”—a society in which all people experience inclusion, access to resources and opportunity, regardless of their race, ethnicity, national origin, color, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, religion, immigration status, mental or physical disability, and other areas of human differences.
I borrowed and edited this definition of ‘equality’ from the International Coaching Federation, the professional organization where I’m accredited. I replaced the word ‘equality’ with ‘fairness.’
